Jacine walked out and softly closed the door behind her. Then she leaned against the wall and rested her head there. She closed her eyes, but didn’t stop thinking about her friend. Oh, Jeffrey It wasn’t working; it wasn’t going to work; and her friend would suffer a fate worse than death. Jacine straightened slowly up from the wall and looked down the corridor towards the exit. If I don’t get away, this is going to lock into a Stream. She limped away, fighting to derail her thoughts. She had spent the last twelve hours with Jeff, putting most of her energy and emotions into supporting him. But how can anyone truly cope with what he’s going to face? She imagined her friend’s face changing, the bones thickening, the intelligence and bright spark in his eyes fading into mindless pain. No... Her own eyes closed, but couldn’t get rid of the image. She done her crying weeks ago when Jeff had first told her his intentions to take the Youth Drug. All that today had done was extinguish the last speck of hope that she’d inadvertently retained.

23 finished toweling himself off and put on a robe. He towel-dried his hair some more, then combed it back, scowling at the one lock of hair that always went forward, no matter what he did. "Back, dang you -- back!" He wetted it down, then combed it again. "There you go," he said with satisfaction, though he knew it wouldn’t last. Then he laughed at himself for being so particular, and headed out of the bathroom, wondering if he should put on his uniform or civvies.

HazLib One was currently on Gamma shift, and 23 still had a few hours before he had to report for duty. He rather liked the night runs. The moonlight on the Wastelands smoothed out its harshness and made it beautiful. Plus, it was typically a quieter run than Alpha shift. They could use quietness for awhile.

A knock at his door interrupted his thoughts and stopped him from opening a dresser drawer. He looked at the drawer for a moment, contemplated his robe, then shrugged and moved out to answer the door.

"Jacine! Hi."

Jacine murmured some reply and then just stood there. 23 regarded his friend with some surprise, and a touch of anxiety. She looked... tired. More than tired, drained -- as if all the vivacity had been taken from her, leaving not even a crumb. The blue-green eyes that generally sparkled so much when they looked at him were dull, the colors muted. Even as he watched, the corners of her eyes crinkled briefly in a smile that didn’t move her lips, then faded again.

"I’m sorry, 23. I seem to have this habit of catching you at bad times."

23 blinked in surprise, then remembered what he was wearing. "Oh no!" He laughed, "This is good timing. Two minutes ago would have been bad timing, but this is fine." His joking was rewarded with another small smile. 23 finally remembered why she was in IC in the first place, and he felt a pang in his heart. With her looking like that, there could only be one reason... "Jeff?" he asked softly.

Jacine’s eyes left his and moved to one side, looking at nothing. "It didn’t take."

"Oh, Jas..." 23 reached out and pulled her inside the room, the door sliding shut behind her. He embraced her, holding her tightly as if to protect her from all the demons in the world. Not that he could, but he wanted to. Jacine’s body in his arms didn’t respond. She didn’t pull away, or stiffen, but neither did she let the hug comfort her. They stayed like that for a very long time before Jacine gave a brief shudder and started to relax. Her arms went up and around him, and her head dipped down to his shoulder, face turned in to his neck. Her body melted little by little into his, accepting the care that he offered.

23 held her and didn’t say anything. Jacine wasn’t crying, and that scared him. ‘Normal’ definitions rarely applied to Jacine, but he would have thought an emotional release would have been appropriate for the circumstances. How much pain are you in, my friend, that you can not even let go of it? After several minutes of just holding her, other thoughts started intruding, as 23 became aware of the softness of the body pressing into his, the clean smell of the hair he was gently stroking, and his overwhelming desire for her. He firmly squashed those thoughts -- now was definitely not the time. He tried to redirect his thoughts to again project comfort and care, without the overtones. But Jacine stirred in his arms, and he could feel her starting to gather her self control back in her. She still remained in his embrace, but almost as slowly as she previously had relaxed, her body recoiled the muscles that had been limp, and she stood upon her own support instead of relying on 23.

"Jacine," 23 was almost in despair, he wanted to help her so much, "I won’t hurt you."

Her soft laugh was music in his ears as she backed off a step, gazing into his eyes. One hand left the back of his neck and gently touched his cheek. "I know that, 23. I love you too."

"What?" 23 couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. Am I still asleep? This is so much like one of my dreams.

The green eyes sparkled at him, still duller than normal, though the affection in them was sincere. "Funny," she mused, "I never really thought about it before. I think I’ve known for awhile, but it sounds different in words."

It wasn’t a dream. Only Jacine could make a speech like that. 23 smiled, and he thought about leaning in to kiss her, but the sheer weariness in the eyes he loved so much warned him off. I won’t start anything when she’s so close to the edge. It really wasn’t a dream, for in his Fantasies, the scene would have continued on. Later. We’ll have plenty of time later. Her words reverberated in his head and in his heart. His reflections turned to wonder again, She loves me. She said so. How could that have happened?

Jacine was still looking at him, watching him, her mouth curved up in a genuine smile. But the smile faded, as if it was simply too much of an effort to keep it in place. 23 tried to force his thoughts back to helping her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Jacine blinked, an eyebrow twitching briefly upwards. Then she chuckled. "Jeff," she clarified what had been 23’s question. "No." She limped back a couple of steps, turning to look at a corner of 23’s living room. "It’s one of the problems with my memory. Everything is crystal clear in my head, even now. Time won’t dull it, and words won’t calm it." Her body tightened with tension, pain leaking back in. "I need to distract myself so I don’t dwell on it. I’ve learned that if I can focus on something else immediately after, I’m less likely to create a Stream later." She turned back to him. "Generally, I like to go to the zoo, or the aboritorium, or something like that. But the last time we all went to the zoo, I watched the moneys and could only remember the last time I’d gone there to distract myself." Jacine grinned weakly, but it was a half grimace. "I’ve used that method one too many times." Glancing to 23’s computer, she observed, "I think I came here with the vague idea of working on a project or something. But I doubt if I’m up to it."

"You need a distraction?" 23 looked towards his bedroom, an idea forming in his mind.

Amusement sounded in the soft voice, "I’m sorry, 23. I don’t think I’m up to that either."

"Jas!" 23’s head whipped back around to face her, aghast at the thought that he could seem so predatory. But Jacine’s eyes were laughing at him, and he knew she’d been teasing. "Wasn’t what I had in mind," he said as an attempt to recover his dignity. Then he laughed, holding his hand out to her. Jacine took it willingly. "Come on, I want to show you something." He gently pulled her to his room.

"Oh," Jacine grinned, "Craig’s infamous ceiling mural? I’ve wondered about it."

"Infamous...?" 23 stopped in his tracks and looked at her. But Jacine kept heading in, and stepped though the door of his room.

"Oh my!" Jacine’s breath caught in her throat as she looked up. "This is incredible."

The whole of the ceiling was a vid-panel with projector screens three inches in to give more depth to the image. The image of a coral reef system, with all the accompanying fish, vertebrates, and other inhabitants was so real as to almost reach out and touch it. Jacine actually did stretch up and reach out a hand, but the ceiling was higher than even Michael could reach. She sat down on the floor next to the bed and leaned her head back to watch the fish swimming by. 23 stood, watching her, amused and happy at her instant absorption in the scene.

23 stirred and moved an arm around to see his wrist cron. Argh. Late again. He glanced to the blonde head pillowed on his shoulder. Jacine had fallen asleep awhile ago, and he didn’t want to disturb her. But even as careful as he’d been moving his arm, she moved and lifted her head to look at him, blue eyes sleepy. Clearing his throat from the sudden lump of emotions, 23 spoke, "Hi. How’re you doing?"

Jacine’s eyes unfocused as she took him literally, "My leg hurts. But I think my mind is clearer." She shuddered as she started to remember again, in spite of her statement.

Tightening his grip around her waist, 23 tried to convey his support without being obnoxious or repetitive. Jacine smiled at him, but obviously an hour of sleep on his floor hadn’t done her much good. They’d been sitting for a long time before Jas fell asleep, watching the fish and nothing else. "Would the bed be more comfortable?"

"It would," Jacine admitted, "Time?" She yawned, one hand coming up to cover her mouth.

"Midnight. I have to go on duty soon." Actually about a half-hour ago. 23 wondered why nobody had come to fetch him yet. Maybe Tom was late too.

"Oh -- Gamma. ‘Forgot." Jacine glanced at him, a slight twinkle revealing that she knew perfectly well he was late. "If it wouldn’t inconv-- inc-- bother you..."

"Not at all." Of course not. 23 wiggled his arm out from behind her waist and stood up. His arm and shoulder were needles from where Jacine had been laying on them. He tried to conceal how much it hurt. But he forgot his own pain as Jacine tried to move and was too weak to do so.

"Ahh... Jacine leaned over her leg. "This leg has had it. I should just chop it off."

23 had heard her make remarks like that before. She always seemed half-serious. "I’ll help. How do you get this off?" The snaps on her boot looked simple, but one never knew.

Jacine bent her other leg under her to get leverage to stand. She shook her head at him, not bothering to speak. 23 moved to try and support her other side. He wished that he was strong enough and coordinated enough to just lift her and place her in bed with no effort at all. As it was, with his problems, all he could do was stand and watch. Bigger than a bread-basket. Jacine managed to get up the side of the bed and collapsed on the edge. Her voice was a whisper, "You can take boot off now -- nothing tricky ‘bout it."

Except itself. 23 moved his hands down the sides, undoing the snaps and ties, then unzipping the lining. The servos whined, and he jumped slightly in startlement. Jacine’s breath came out in short spurts as if she was trying to giggle, but didn’t have enough energy even for that. "They’re deactiv-- deac--- shutting down." 23 finished removing it as gentle as he could, but even so, there were pain lines in Jacine’s face by the time he finished. The other boot was similar, without the servos.

He pulled down the covers, and helped Jacine wiggle up to the pillow. As soon as she was there, her eyes closed as she heaved a long sigh. 23 was sure she was asleep on the instant. He tucked the blankets around her and brushed her hair softly. "Jacine. I love you." He dared to breath it in a whisper, his heart in his voice. Jacine’s lips curved in a smile, showing she wasn’t asleep just yet.

23 leaned down and brushed his lips against her cheek, then turned determinedly away. He didn’t want to leave, but at the same time he knew he couldn’t stay. He reluctantly took a step towards the door.

"23."

He looked back. Jacine’s eyes were open, and she was looking at him with a total seriousness that he’d seen in her only a few times. She levered herself up to lean against the wall, pillow behind her back. The exhaustion that she had shown since the moment she walked in his room seemed to be gone, she was fully alert.

"23, I want you to do me a favor." Her voice was clear, with none of the slips and brevity she’d shown earlier.

For just a moment, the alertness in her face wavered, and 23 again saw the tiredness, body and soul, before it was hidden again. 23 wondered at the reserves of self-control that could produce such an effect. "Anything, Jacine."

"Watch Michael for me." Jacine watched him carefully, serious in her request.

"Uhh..." 23 of course was going to say yes, but it would help to know why. Before he could articulate that, Jacine seemed to sense his problem and expanded, sort-of.

"I see the world in so many shades of grey that I don’t really believe in black or white." A smile twitched at the corner of her mouth, "One of these days I’ll get run over at a zebra crossing." The smile disappeared. "Michael believes in black and white." She looked away, "Michael’s always been the Knight Protector, gentle ruler of his people, keeping them safe from evil. He fought against orcs and goblins, demons and trolls -- true evil. There was one time when we were young that he was going to fight a dragon, and I turned him from it simply by mentioning it was the last of its kind. Nothing that was the last of its kind could be totally evil, so Michael made friends with it instead." Her lips curved up, "And then she laid a clutch and she was not the last anymore, and Michael bargained with my people for genetic engineers to expand the race..." Jacine shook her head and looked back to 23, "Take care of Michael. He needs watching." She was silent for another moment. "I wish he was still going out with Tamlynn. But she still cares and will understand. Tell her. Tell Azami." Jacine snorted softly, "Tell the whole Gang. Rhin... Michael will need all the people who care about him." For the first time that night, a tear trickled out the side of her eye, "And I can’t be there." She slid back down the wall until she was laying flat again.

Jacine’s ‘explanation’ hadn’t helped 23 all that much. It was obviously clear to her, and 23 wasn’t sure how much more information he could get with either a subtle or even blunt demand for clarification. Jacine tended to confuse easily when derailed. But that last statement... "Why not?"

Jacine was surprised, "Because it will hurt him more." It was perfectly obvious to her.

23 sighed softly. The bright eyes were again dulling, worn by the effort of saying what she needed to say. Oh Jas. I love you, but you can be so exasperating! He resolved to ask her again when she was awake. "I will," he promised, sincere in his vow, if not his understanding.

With his words, the last of Jacine’s energy seemed to disappear. Her eyes closed and her breath slowed dramatically. 23 watched, his heart again going out to her. Softly, he turned and started to leave the room.

"23."

For the second time, 23 looked back. One blue-green eye was open half-way and it twinkled at him.

"Don’t forget your clothes."

For almost the first time that night, 23 remembered the robe he was wearing. A blush spread across his whole body. Unfortunately, Jacine also could see most of it. To the sound of her soft chuckle, he pulled the robe tighter around him and snagged a uniform out of the nearest drawer. He got out the door, then turned and walked back in. He opened a different drawer and got socks and underwear. He was still blushing furiously as he bent to grab his shoes. Somehow, he managed to keep his balance, hold all the items of clothing, and leave with at least some of his dignity intact. When he got to the living room, he collapsed in a chair and started laughing helplessly.