Beginning-Start Beginning-Ch6 Beginning-Ch8
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Chapter Seven: Trust… and the Void The fox slipped through the forest, checking his land. He paused at one pine tree that felt… different. It wasn’t a pine tree. The silver fox growled out an attack and rushed upon the tree that blurred into its dragon shape. Shiny black coils, beautiful and powerful. A fine specimen of its kind. But it shouldn’t have been there, upon the fox’s land, uninvited. The dragon screamed as the fox latched his fangs deep in its throat. When the fox finally let go, the dragon was dead. Panting, the silver fox stared at the beautiful black dragon with the shiny white stars outlining its scales. And the fox regretted having to kill the wild dragon. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Kurama sat bolt upright, his hand at his throat. "No…" he whimpered. Then he shook his head, these nightmares had to stop. This was the fourth night running… Kurama paused – it was the fourth day since he’d killed the dragon. Was this its revenge? Had it thrown some sort of a spell… There was a cry of despair and a crackling of branches. Kurama looked over to see Hiei fall out of a tree, landing with a limp thud on the ground. "Hiei!" Kurama crawled over and touched the limp form hesitantly. Unconscious, Hiei twitched at the touch and a low wailing sound came from his throat. Then the demon curled into a tight ball, arms wrapped protectively around his head. "Hiei?" Kurama couldn’t imagine what could hurt… He cast his rei out around the camp zone. And found nothing. There were no traces of any foreign youki around, and Hiei’s spell wards were still intact. Then what…? Kurama touched the back of Hiei’s neck – the only exposed skin he could see, and he jerked his hand back in sheer astonishment. Hiei felt… cold. Cold and clammy. But Hiei is a fire demon – he can’t feel cold! Kurama turned to look at the fire. It was still burning the steady green color. With a slight grunt, Kurama picked up the coiled ball that was his friend and hauled him over to the campfire. "Hiei. Hiei…" Kurama finally just placed the demon smack dab in the middle of the fire and watched anxiously. Slowly, the fire died. And the demon uncurled from his ball. But still wasn’t awake. Kurama reached out again and this time took the smaller demon into his lap. He stroked the limp strands of fur hanging loosely about the demon’s face. After a moment of hesitation, he untied the bandage around Hiei’s jagan. And gasped as he saw it closed, only a thin line in the skin indicating that it was there. The jagan is closed? Not just shut, lid closed over the eye, but actually closed and sealed, fading into the skin. As far as Kurama knew, that shouldn’t happen. He’d temporarily sealed it that one time, using his acid blood… With a frown on his face, Kurama placed his hand over Hiei’s forehead and carefully pushed out his rei. And found the demon’s almost non-existent. What is going on? Kurama focused himself and started to slowly feed his rei into Hiei. After a long time, the fur on Hiei’s head wavered and then pulled back into its spikes, and the demon moaned, a pitiful, painful sound. But at least it was a sign of life. Hiei… what happened to you? What can I do? Kurama stroked the hair back and stared at the white star. The white star on the black hair. Exactly like that of the scales of the dragon… Kurama blinked. The dragon he’d killed had oval scales. But the dragon in his dream had stars… His heart knotted in fright. "Hiei? Hiei, did I… Hiei!" He gathered up the demon in his arms and tried to think about the dream. The dragon had been on his land… Hiei came to me before I was ready. "I did this to him." But what specifically had he done? And how? Last night. Last night, I didn’t give him an answer. I… I didn’t accept his story completely. Kurama sighed. Essentially, he’d told the demon he didn’t trust him. And the trust Kurama had given the demon was what had finally opened the demon’s heart. And the removal of the trust killed the heart. And the demon. "Oh, Hiei…" He could bring the demon back by telling him he trusted him. He thought that would work. But did Kurama really trust Hiei anymore? The demon was a manipulating, conniving, devious little bastard. Who used his Games just to amuse himself. And how is that any different than me? Kurama bent his head over Hiei’s unconscious form and tried to think. Quickly.
‘You take too damn long.’ ‘I don’t talk to traitors.’ ‘I know what alone is.’ ‘You like games, I thought you’d like to play.’ ‘Go out and get yourself killed! See if I care!’ ‘Fifty-seven years and five months.’ ‘I respected your dad’s honor and courage.’ ‘What do you want from me?’ ‘So beautiful…’ ‘I respect your bravery and honor. So I’ll just kill you.’ Yusuke had trusted Kurama. Knowing nothing about him. Nothing but that one look they’d shared and a snippet of conversation. Yusuke had trusted Kurama, and had given him his life. Hiei had given Kurama his life. And the Mirror of Utter Darkness. ‘Choice.’ Hiei had given Figitatha a choice. ‘I know what alone is." Kurama sighed. And stroked the fine black fur gently. With extreme caution, he projected his rei as much as he could. "Hiei. Come back. I believe you. I trust you. Hiei. Please come back. I trust you. I want you as my friend. Please. Come back to me. I’ll let you stay free and never seek to bind you. I’ll trust you in all. Never again will I doubt. I will trust you, always. Hiei."
Red eyes opened slowly. And looked blankly up, not seeing. Kurama had always wondered how it was possible that people could commit suicide. He wondered no more. The look of utter and total despair, bleakness in darkness, ice smothering the fire… Those were eyes that were already dead. It was a shell of a being that was still alive. It can’t be too late. No… His heart in his throat and in his voice, Kurama cried out to his friend, "Hiei!!!" The red eyes blinked. And then stilled again. Damnit, damnit, damnit! Kurama took another deep breath, "Hiei!" This time, he also put as much of what he knew about Hiei into the shout. The demon’s quickness. His dry wit. His devotion. His smartness. His ability. His wildness. His heart. His mystery. It was a short list. Kurama didn’t know much about the demon in his arms. But I want to know more. I do. Don’t… don’t die before I can find out. "I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… Hiei, I didn’t mean to kill you. I’m sorry." Tears dripped down upon the unseeing face and Kurama closed his eyes. "I’m not dead yet." Kurama jerked up, his heart pounding. The demon lay there in his arms, still pale, still quiet, still weak. But the red eyes that gazed up at him had a rather sardonic quizzical expression in them. "Hiei…" Kurama breathed out all his fears in the sigh of his name. "Hiei, I thought I’d killed you. I’m sorry. I trust you, really I do." "Hn." The red gaze flickered away, "No reason to." Kurama laughed shakily, "Did you lie to me?" The demon wouldn’t look at him as he asked, "When?" With a chuckle, Kurama ruefully figured that, since it was Hiei, it was a legitimate question, "Last night, when you were telling me about my parents." "No." "Then I trust you and that’s all there is to it." Kurama grinned down, "Come on, Hiei – let me make you some breakfast." There was silence. Kurama watched the expressionless face and sighed. With one hand, he turned the demon’s face so that the demon had to look at him. The red eyes still wouldn’t meet his. Kurama thought about it for a moment then leaned down and kissed Hiei. In less than a second, the snarling, spitting, angry demon was out of his arms and crouched on the other side of the camp, down on two legs and an arm, the other arm up in a clawing gesture, looking much like a wild cat. Or a wild dragon? Kurama grinned lightly, though it was a bit forced, "What’s wrong?" "You don’t want to! You called for a friend! Not a lover!" "Oh? You heard me?" The small demon hesitated and then noticeably forced himself to relax, standing up and glancing around the camp. "Hiei – I want an answer to that," Kurama also stood, his gaze steady upon the demon. The demon turned his back and whispered lowly, "Yes, I heard." Kurama walked to him and rested a hand gently upon his shoulder, "Then you also heard me say I’d never try to bind you. You’re free, Hiei. Free like you should be." He let the silence drag for a long moment before he tightened his grip, "But I want from you what you will freely give." Abruptly, Kurama swung the demon around to face him. Unresisting, the demon turned. "Hiei. Hiei – I want you for my friend. And a partner. I don’t know yet about more… but with the little I know about you now, it’s not unlikely that it will happen." Kurama grinned down at the surprised look on Hiei’s face, "Hiei, you silly demon – you watched me for seventy-two years. I doubt if there’s much about me that you don’t know. But I know nothing about you. Nothing except that I trust you. Completely. For now, isn’t that enough?" After a long moment, the demon reached up and brushed Kurama’s grip off his shoulders, "Stupid fox. I don’t know that much about you." He turned and walked over to the dead fire, squatting down and lighting it with a burst of green demon-fire. His quiet voice was serious, "It’s more than enough. It’s more than I ever thought I’d have." And then the form blurred and was gone. Kurama grinned as he shook his head. Hiei… my friend. And he went to catch them breakfast. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Hiei and Kurama got back to the fire at the same time – Hiei with an armful of plants and roots, and Kurama with several small animals hanging from his belt. They looked for a moment at each other… and then both snickered. "Okay," Kurama grinned as he laid his food out, "You make your breakfast, and I’ll make mine." Hiei started sorting the plants, "How come you, as a plant-controlling kitsune, don’t eat many plants?" "Umm… I like the taste of meat. ‘Sides, I like making plants grow more than killing them." And after he’d given his answer, Kurama wasn’t very sure that he wanted to ask Hiei about the meat. Or did he? He opened his mouth… and Hiei answered him before he asked it. "I learned long ago that form doesn’t follow function. And so to be careful of what I might offend. Plants are… usually safe." Kurama blinked. And looked at the squirrels and rabbits he’d cut up. And looked over at Hiei, but the short demon didn’t say anything more. Oh yeah, that cleared a lot of things up… Thanks Hiei… An answer that left more questions. But then, wasn’t that the essence of Hiei? Kurama passed the meat in and out of the flame and then started to eat breakfast. His use of rei and the nightmare had left him eager to replenish his energy. And he watched Hiei. And finally had to say something, "Hiei – you’re not eating." The demon looked listlessly at his plate of roots, "Not hungry." Uh oh. Kurama put down his plate and moved over next to the demon. Hiei started to shift away, but Kurama forestalled that and put a hand on Hiei’s forehead. "You’re still a bit cold. Hiei, I thought…" "Just tired. Be okay in a bit." Yeah, Hiei, right… Kurama reached out to draw Hiei into his arms, but the demon pushed him away again and this time retreated to the edge of the camp, where he stood with his back to Kurama as he stared at the sword stuck in the ground. Okay, that does it. Kurama also stood up and walked close but stopped a few feet away. "Hiei, when I’m really feeling miserable – tired, lonely, depressed, or such, often my Mom will come to me," Kurama walked closer, "And will put her arms around me," he carefully stepped to face the demon and gently enveloped the smaller frame in a very loose grasp, "and she’ll hold me." The demon didn’t pull away immediately and Kurama went on, "It’s a gesture of comfort. Reassurance. Support." The body in Kurama’s arms stiffened and Kurama automatically tightened his grip and then quickly loosened it again before the demon could run. "A hug is just something to let me know that my mother is there – that kind of support, of knowing that she is with me, not a literal support. No matter what, she’s with me and cares for me. She doesn’t know what my troubles are, she’s just human after all, but my mother can somehow tell when I’m not feeling just right. There’s nothing she can do… so she comes to me, and holds me. She holds me to her so I can feel that she is there." Carefully, Kurama settled a bit closer to Hiei, wrapping his arms a little more securely around the small body, pulling him against his chest. Hiei stood there and let him, but didn’t relax. Kurama reached one hand up to gently pet the demon’s hair, "Sometimes, when I’m really feeling bad, she’ll stroke me carefully, to soothe out all those restless feelings and chase away the bad things. She knows she can’t really do that, but that’s what she thinks of as she holds me, and I know that she cares." Hiei made a very, very small sound in his throat. It sounded a bit like a whimper, though Kurama could barely hear it. He continued to stroke the demon, with words and actions, "It’s hard for me, being on my own for over 400 years, to really understand what a hug is, but… but when I think about my mother, not knowing who or what I am, but still caring… Sometimes, I relax. I know my mother cares for me. I don’t know why she does, but I know she does. And she only wants to help. So I relax a bit, held in her arms." No response. "I loosen those muscles I’ve been keeping taut and ready for… fight or flight. The muscles that say ‘I can take care of myself.’ I know I can. Mother knows I can. So… there’s no need to stay tense. I relax into her hold and rest a little in her arms." There it was finally… just a tiny bit… The small body quivered in strain as slowly Hiei started to relax. Very, very slowly. Relaxing a little and then pausing to evaluate the situation, ready to tense up again at the least sign of something wrong. Waiting until he was sure it really was okay, then relaxing just a little more. Slowly. Kurama kept his left arm around Hiei’s back, supporting him without enclosing. His right arm he had curved up to Hiei’s head, protecting it. The demon was so much shorter than he. The top of his head was below Kurama’s chin. Is this how it feels to hold a child in your arms? Mother, is this how you felt? He felt… protective. He hadn’t before, when he’d started this, he’d only wanted to comfort. But holding Hiei in his arms… The demon was almost totally relaxed now, leaning into Kurama’s body, his head turned in to Kurama’s chest and resting securely there. Trusting him. And with the demonstration of that trust, a fierce determination rose up within Kurama that this was his demon that trusted him and there was nothing and nobody that could ever take him from him. Hiei was Kurama’s. He’d stolen the demon and was now responsible for him. He would protect this ball of fire and keep him safe. He would… he couldn’t, really. Hiei would always fight his own fights, and ‘safe’ was not in their job description. Kurama might have stolen Hiei’s heart, but Hiei himself was still a wild demon, not Kurama’s. A lump rose up in Kurama’s throat and he held Hiei closely, determined to hold him for now, while he could, while Hiei let him. Because he knew he’d have to let him go, eventually. But not until Hiei was himself again. Kurama cleared the lump out of his throat, "Then, when I’m relaxed… it feels good to know Mother is with me, there for me. But I can also feel her pain and fear – for me. She knows there’s nothing she can do for me, except for this hug, and so she hurts a bit, for me. And then I’ll put my arms around her, and hold her the way that she is holding me. And then we’ll be together for a little while. Each caring for the other." This time, the actions were much quicker as Hiei immediately put his arms around Kurama. Kurama got the impression that Hiei had wanted to do that before but was afraid it would be misunderstood. Unseen by the demon in his arms, Kurama smiled. And let himself relax into the demon’s hold. And then they really were sharing a proper hug, each giving and receiving comfort from the other. And it felt good. Kurama bent his head over the demon’s and closed his eyes, so he could feel Hiei’s body pressed along his, Kurama’s arms around Hiei, Hiei’s arms around Kurama… It felt good, to be holding Hiei like this. Kurama felt his own worries and doubts and frights melting out of him under the strength of the care he could feel in Hiei’s hold. And the way the demon was relaxing more and more on him, curving into his embrace… Did the short demon even have any bones? He was like a cat in the sun, puddles of relaxed fur. Hiei – have you ever relaxed like this before? Hugs… weren’t something done in the demon world. Coming together for sex, yes. For comfort? If you needed comfort, there was a weakness in you. And weakness was something one never showed. Kurama was a fox spirit, but even so he couldn’t remember a time that he’d hugged somebody for comfort only, not involving desire. It took growing up in the human world to show him what a hug was. His mom cared for him, and comforted him. And Kurama had learned to like sharing that comfort. Just a hug to show support without saying the words. A way to say, ‘I’m here.’ And not something that would lead to… It was his own fault, Kurama decided. Letting his mind drift into memories and side thoughts instead of staying on topic. And it was the way the demon was warming under his touch – just regaining his natural body temperature, but Hiei’s natural temperature was warmer than Kurama’s. And where Hiei was pressed against Kurama, Kurama was getting warm… And the smaller body was positioned so Hiei’s chest was a solid mass of warm solid muscles against Kurama’s waist… And Kurama had been thinking about other uses for a hug… It was really his own fault. Hiei unwrapped his arms from around Kurama and took a few steps back, looking up at Kurama’s very red face. "Uhh…" Kurama couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so embarrassed. "Sorry… This body’s only fifteen years old and it doesn’t have the best of control…" He almost moved his hands in front of his waist, but that wouldn’t do much good. He was so embarrassed! I was just going to show Hiei what a simple hug was… Hiei chuckled, "If you weren’t so much taller than me, you would have felt something similar awhile back." Kurama glanced down… "Kurama…" Hiei cleared his throat and nervously shifted weight on his feet, "Uhh… I was just doing that ‘cause you seemed to want it, you know…" Kurama had to smile. Did the demon even know what the words ‘thank you’ were? He’d never heard him say it… But he knew that that’s what Hiei meant. "You’re welcome." Hiei scowled up at him, then a lightning quick grin flashed across his face in acknowledgment of Kurama’s interpretation. "Come on," Kurama smiled at his friend, "you still need breakfast." They went back to the fire together. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Kurama tossed another twig on the fire and watched with interest as the green flames wrapped around the twig… and then moved away. Dead twigs. If Kurama tossed a leaf or a green twig on the fire, the flames would twist around and around, rising higher into the air and changing to a shade of purple before coming back down. But usually he couldn’t see a difference in the leaf or twig. He was tempted to toss a seed in and see what happened… "You toss anything more in there, and the fire is going to crawl out. Its borders are rather closely defined and you’re stretching them." With a laugh, Kurama put the seed back in his hair. "Have you figured out what happened yet?" "Um?" "Well, I presume that’s what you’ve been sitting there so quietly about. The dreams we’ve been having – nightmares – and what happened to you this morning… That certainly isn’t natural! It’s obviously linked. So…?" Hiei sighed, sitting back and leaning against a tree, "You’re right – it’s the jagan. Almost certainly it’s a side-effect of when I used it on you. But I’m having a hard time finding the link. I would think it should be obvious, but I hadn’t noticed it at all, and I still can’t quite find it. I think it has to do with the void, since that is outside all. But the other times I asked people that question—" Kurama bolted upright, his hair bristling, "Other times????" The slanted eyes blinked at Kurama’s reaction and then Hiei grinned, "Did you really think, fox, that you were the first to want to possess something you didn’t have?" "Uhh…" Actually, he had. Hiei always seemed so remote… Hiei laughed, but it was a brittle sound. "You’re not the first. Nor even the second. Or the third. Or –" "Okay, already." The fox could tell that Hiei was hurting himself with the listing. The memories of the ones before… Stop it Hiei. Stop hurting yourself, because I can’t stand to see it. Kurama wondered what had happened to the others that had cared for Hiei. The demon subsided. And then added in a low voice, "You were just the first to come out of the void." Kurama blinked. And silently shivered. Oh… The first… His green eyes went wide as he contemplated a death of nothingness just for having dared… "I didn’t mean it like that!" Hiei snapped, "I meant…" Hiei bit his lip as he stared at the red-haired fox spirit, and then immediately let go with a wince – his lip was still raw from all the biting he’d done last night. That’s one habit I’ve really got to stop! "You were the first who had an answer I could accept." Kurama shivered again. It wasn’t an answer he’d thought of! What sort of answers…? Even unspoken, Hiei answered the question, "Usually, they come back with ‘your soul’ or ‘to possess you utterly’ or ‘to learn your secrets’ or some such. The ones that have betrayal in their minds… I usually leave in a nasty spot. The others I either kill on the spot, or don’t bring back out of the void." Kurama didn’t seem to be able to stop shivering. What if he had come back with one of those? The possession one was close… He really hadn’t known what he was trying to steal! "You didn’t know what you were after, really," Hiei grinned as the fox jumped – he’d thought that was what the fox was thinking, "and so your truth was ambiguous and only partially shaped. What words did you hear?" The question was so abrupt, Kurama snapped out of his absorbed thoughts of death, not even having to think for the answer, "Only what you will give.’" "Humm… Interesting." "That’s not what you heard?" "I didn’t hear words. I never do. I look at the answer." Kurama blinked and tried briefly to picture… Hiei chuckled, "Don’t try. It’s not very explainable. But your answer… you didn’t know what you wanted from me, but whatever you were searching for, your motives weren’t malignant or selfish or greedy. You were just curious. And… you were looking for…" Hiei trailed off and he tapped a finger against his lips as he looked at the fox and searched for words. Kurama stared back, fascinated and intently curious to hear himself explained. Finally, Hiei resumed, "You expected to find something good in me. That… hasn’t happened before." Never? Kurama’s heart went out to the little demon. "Kurama… stop looking at me like that." Hiei’s voice was strained. And so was his body. The look in those beautiful green eyes… Hiei wanted him. He wanted him so badly. And when Kurama showed his care, it just made things worse for Hiei because Hiei wanted more. And couldn’t have it without driving away his fox for good. Fight or flight, Kurama. If you push… I’m going to have to run away because it will be the only thing I can do. I will never hurt you. Never. At the frank desire in Hiei’s eyes, Kurama very nearly flinched away. Your own fault… Kurama tried to stop caring, but he couldn’t. Yet he still wasn’t ready to match Hiei’s gift. I don’t love him yet. Not the way he should be. He wants the care I offer… but he needs more. Wait, Hiei. Please wait just a bit longer. Kurama could feel himself starting to love the little demon. Holding Hiei in his arms had awakened all the fierce protective feelings. And knowing more about Hiei was helping – knowing how long Hiei had been watching him… It hadn’t been just impulse on Hiei’s part. Somehow, Hiei had cared for Kurama long before. And Kurama thought he was gaining Hiei’s friendship, they were more comfortable with each other now. Yet Kurama wanted more of that friendship, before he’d consider a lover. Hiei watched the fox… and regretted his sudden moves. He’d almost scared the fox away, turning that quickly. He almost hadn’t given Kurama a choice in the matter. But Hiei had assumed… He hadn’t thought Kurama would reject what he’d tried so hard to steal. Yet, Kurama hadn’t really known what he was after and that seemed to be what made the difference. Kurama had made no assumptions and so Hiei had let him in. Now, all he had to do was untangle their souls. "It probably has to do with the void. The void is outside of time and matter – it’s the one place I can truly find anything, but one has to be very careful in the void for it is not real and yet is reality." "Hiei," Kurama pleaded. Another quickfire grin as Hiei stopped trying to explain the unexplainable, "The dreams we’ve been having feel like they have their foundations in the void. Truth revealed in ambiguity. I’m used to it, but you shouldn’t be. And when you dreamed… Your dream was based on mine, that night, and it wasn’t you shaping the void, but the void shaping us." "Hiei! You’re still doing it." Hiei changed modes, "It wasn’t your fault." "But…" But it was so close to what Kurama had done. "It was just a truth." Kurama whimpered. His jaws, locked in the throat of the black dragon… "Oh, Kurama…" He’d forgotten the fox would take it like that. Taking blame for what was only truth. Hesitantly, Hiei got up from where he sat and approached the fox. Kurama was sitting by the fire, knees drawn up to his chest, his head on his knees. ‘A hug is just something to let me know that my mother is there.’ Carefully, Hiei knelt down and reached a hand out to touch Kurama’s shoulder. The red-haired fox raised his head and looked at Hiei with guilt written across his features. Hiei bit his lip, feeling the soreness there from the day before and remembering the ‘why’. It wasn’t Kurama’s fault – it was Hiei’s. For playing his Game with Kurama’s life and the lives of his parents. He’d given the fox Truth, but… "Kurama…" Hiei wrapped his arms around Kurama’s shoulders and pulled the fox’s head into his chest. "Kurama, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier about your parents. I’m sorry I… It was a legitimate question. For my Game, it very well could have been something I would have done. You didn’t know…" I could have done it… it was a good move for the Game I was working and your evaluation of me was accurate – to my shame. Never, ever again will I give you cause for doubt, Kurama. You have no reason to trust me, yet somehow, you did. You gave me my life and set me free… but with less reason then I had. No reason, really. And I still don’t tell you all… Hiei was so very afraid of being hurt. Pain was not fun, and wounds to the heart took so long to heal. Some never did heal, completely, and others left scars. But for the fox, he would risk it again. Because the fox had found his heart. Hiei is hugging me? Fast learner. Kurama shivered and let himself be held. He knew, logically, that Hiei was right – that it had been a real possibility. And if Hiei had been the one to poison his mom, Kurama would have killed him with only the slightest of regrets. But it hadn’t been that way, Hiei was true… And Kurama couldn’t stop forgetting his teeth in Hiei’s throat… "Hiei – why do you show up in my dreams as a black dragon? I would have thought if anything, a panther or a cougar…" Hiei let go of Kurama and backed off. Kurama wasn’t totally better – but he was putting it to one side and letting it go. He does that so well… "Hiei?" His question. Hiei wrinkled his nose. It wasn’t something he liked to talk to anybody about. This isn’t anybody, it’s Kurama. "I’m part dragon." "WHAT?" Kurama sat straight up, his legs tucking under him as he rose to a kneeling position, leaning towards Hiei… "Impossible." Hiei glanced sourly at him, "It’s only a small part. Probably one-one-hundredth. But there is dragon in my genes." "Humm…" Kurama sat back on his heels, his eyes alight as he curiously turned this new piece of information over in his mind and fitted it into the appropriate spot. He wondered if he could ask… No. Not right now. Kurama wanted to get his information by Hiei’s trust, not by the demon forcing himself to answer just because it was Kurama asking. Hiei would tell him… when Hiei was ready to. And Kurama would wait for it. Besides, they were dealing with another problem right now, one that was probably more important. Well, that got him out of his doldrums… Just give the fox a mystery… Hiei sighed bitterly. If only he could be so easily distracted. He glanced over at his sword. He didn’t like leaving the wards up for so long. But this problem with the void would have to be dealt with before it went any further. Each day, they’d apparently been getting closer and closer in their dreams. And the dreams were nightmares. The void could shape as well as show. And Hiei did not want to live in a world shaped by the void. And he didn’t want his fox there either. He sighed again and made his decision, "Kurama, I’m going to have to go back in." The fox jumped before steeling himself. Hiei shook his head – he was really going to have to get better at explaining himself, "I didn’t mean you, I meant me. I’m going to have to… focus to find the problem and untangle it. It shouldn’t affect you at all – I’m just letting you know what I’m going to do." Kurama narrowed his eyes, this didn’t sound like a good thing. "Is it dangerous?" Hiei shrugged. Great answer, Quickfire. Kurama sighed, "Is there anything I can do?" "Umm…" Hiei glanced around. "Watch my body." "HUH???" I’m not explaining this well, am I? Hiei tried again, "To go into the void and untangle the problem, I have to use the jagan to go there, and that means leaving my body for a bit." Kurama paled slightly, "We weren’t in our bodies?" Hiei frowned, "Didn’t you jump out of your original one to the one you’re in now? It’s simila—" "No I didn’t!" Kurama snapped, interrupting Hiei, "This is my body!" That was one assumption that he was really tired of. Even Koenma had almost accused Kurama of taking over a human fetus that could have housed a human soul, not a ghost. And Kurama had nearly bitten off Koenma’s head too. In some ways, they are alike. Hiei blinked, uncertain, puzzled. Tilting his head to one side, Kurama studied the demon curiously, "You really don’t know anything about world-transference, do you? Then how did you get to this world before?" Hiei flushed and didn’t answer. "Huh…" Kurama studied the demon again and then chose to explain, "Normally, to get from one world to another, ghosts use established Gates – links between the worlds, or, more rarely, they use portals. But a portal can only be created by a ghost of…" Kurama faltered and his eyes widened, "Hiei… you…" Hiei flushed again and still didn’t answer. "Uhh…" "No, I’m not a Force Demon, yes I use portals, and never you mind how I create them," Hiei burst out in one long stream. "Oh…" Kurama digested this briefly and then went on, "When there isn’t an established link, or a portal, ghosts use world-transference. Basically, it involves compressing our selves into our rei and spooling out. Changing our body into rei, we can get by the River without notice. Once on the other side, we focus ourselves again and create our bodies anew. The platform we used to get here from the palace was a type of world-transference that drew on the palace rei instead of ours. Normally, most ghosts shape a form that was the same as theirs before – it’s what they know. But when I transferred over, I was so badly wounded that I had no strength to heal my form, and I knew I could not. So I created my form inside the womb of a human woman in order to draw off her rei to keep me alive long enough to be born. That was enough time for my soul to start generating rei on my own again, but it still took ten years before I was healed enough to try another transfer back. Before then, I could use Gates, but I couldn’t transfer on my own, neither could I switch forms even if I wanted to." Hiei curiously ran his eyes over Kurama, studying the human body with more knowledge. Knowing that Kurama was a fox spirit, Hiei had thought the human form was not a natural one. But if Kurama had shaped it himself… it was him. "And so beautiful. Still a fox, with that mane of gorgeous red hair—" Kurama leaped to his feet, "STOP THE GODDAMN INSULTS ALREADY!!!!!" "Huh????" Hiei’s eyes nearly went round, they went so wide. He hadn’t meant to say anything out loud, true, but… insults? "Kurama – I wasn’t—" "Just shut up about it already! Okay? Shut up about the stupid flaming red hair!!!!!" Hiei blinked carefully, feeling his way around the eggshells. Red hair? "Kurama – you’re beautiful. You are. You have a fox’s grace and a fox’s love of life. And I think the mane on the human body is a rather nice touch – adds dimension and self, showing the fox without being too obvious. It’s gorgeous… Your green emerald eyes highlighted by the bright red—" Kurama sat back down and put his head in his hands. Hiei stared, "Kurama – what the hell is wrong with red hair?" Looking ready to cry, Kurama raised his head, "It’s common!" he wailed. Hiei firmly pressed his lips together, then parted them carefully, "Excuse me?" "Red is the color of a common fox!!! I am not a common fox!" Hiei couldn’t help it, he rolled over in peals of laughter. Kurama glared at him. "It’s not funny!" "Yes it is…" Hiei giggled, still on the ground, "Oh my stomach…" His abdominal muscles hurt from laughing so much. "Damnit Hiei!" Kurama gestured and vines slithered through the camp to wind around the small demon figure. And they burst into flames and ashes fell off. Hiei sat up, his laughter stilled, "Don’t ever try that again, Kurama." Kurama was still in shock from the abrupt destruction of his vines. He stared at Hiei, "Uhh…" Hiei brushed the ashes off his shoulder and wrinkled his nose. In a grumble, he muttered, "Sorry I laughed." With a bit of wonder, Kurama looked at the demon. Maybe I wouldn’t have killed him after all… "It’s okay." Reluctantly, Kurama thought about it and his mouth twitched, "I guess it is funny, at that. I’m… a bit sensitive to it. I had assumed the mane would follow my natural form and to see it come out red… We kitsune have jokes about the common red fox." And some of the jokes… Kurama was very sensitive about the red hair. "Kurama…" Hiei crawled over to the kitsune and looked at him for a long moment. A two-way attack, I think. He reached out and fingered a lock of the hair, studying it carefully. Then he looked up into the dazzling green hued eyes, "Kurama, your brilliant rich red mane is not related at all to a common fox, I assure you. Red foxes are muddy and dull, an orangy color that makes them fade into the background, whereas your vibrant beauty only serves to highlight your magnificent self. Your Yoko silver is Spirit-laden, but the Kurama ruby is much more precious and coveted." Then, quicker than Kurama could react, he darted in and kissed his fox lightly. Then he moved back and smiled, "You, Kurama, are never common, and never can be. A most unique fox. And that is Truth." Oh… Kurama raised a hand up to his lips, his green eyes locked on Hiei in wonder… and he felt the words fall into someplace special within him. He pulled them in and wrapped them up, so to treasure them forever. "Hiei… Thank you." And, regardless of intentions, the moment was almost too much. Hiei looked away, embarrassed. "I’ll be sitting over here," he went back to the tree and crossed his legs and leaned against the tree, "Don’t do anything to my body. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this doesn’t take a couple of days." "A couple of days???" Kurama squeaked. Hiei raised an eyebrow, "It takes a half-day just to get there. And I’ve got a feeling this might be tricky. Anyhow, just leave my body alone – it’ll be fine. The spell wards are all in place, I altered them this morning to give you the warning. Don’t leave the boundaries if you can help it." He tried to think if there was anything else he needed to say. Not really. Hiei looked at the… red-haired, uncommon fox, and drank in the sight. It would have to sustain him for awhile. Then he prepared to leave… "Hiei – take care of yourself," Kurama requested seriously, knowing he couldn’t go with his friend. Unused to care, Hiei was startled out of his preparations and curiously looked at Kurama, studying the intentions behind the request. Then he answered the fox-human with as much seriousness as the request had contained, "I will." After a solemn moment had passed, Hiei closed his eyes and looked into his jagan. |